When I look back upon my life,
It’s not my life I see.
It’s more like a “B”-rate movie
But the star in it is me.
I don’t even recognize myself,
In situations past,
But it hurts to know
thirty years are gone.
They slipped away so fast.
I look and see the mistakes I made,
So many wrong, disastrous turns.
All the heartache, all the pain,
All the bridges that I’ve burned.
Should I laugh, or do I cry?
Or should I even care?
After all, that is not the real me
In that “B”-rated movie there.
I am here and I am now, and
Tomorrow, and next week, too.
It could not be me who did those things
To them, and me, and to you.
How I hate the man who lived my life,
Who was me for thirty years.
He took away everything I loved.
He caused so many tears.
He made things so rough, you know.
I lived in total shame,
Until I found the truth, you see:
A prayer in Jesus’ name.
That prayer separated me from he,
and that old past I couldn’t outrun.
The day I prayed to Jesus
was the day the old me was done.
Now I work so hard, and pray.
I live my life with care.
I look at all the years gone by,
And see that stranger there.
He has my face, my hair, my eyes,
But with them he can’t see
That life’s a precious gift from God,
That’s to be nurtured carefully.
Sometimes I see that man stare back
And he laughs right in my face.
But I draw confidence from God,
That man will never find this place.
Thank you God, my faithful friend,
For saving me from he,
That man I see when I look back,
The “me” that is not me.
