The Right Words
© Ferna Lary Mills
The most common request I receive in this ministry to the bereaved is for words. A heart is
broken, a soul is shattered, and a life is turned upside down. The ache is too much to bear and
the grieving heart cries out for those "magic words" that will "make me feel better" or "make me
feel like I can still go on" or "give me hope for the future without my loved one".

Words are what is needed most, for that's the simplest form of communication. We hurt. We
need soothed and comforted. We need words of encouragement. Words that say someone
understands and cares. Words that will help us to heal.

As I've spent much time thinking about these "words", I've reached this conclusion: No words I
can utter will heal your aching heart.

Before you stop reading, please let me explain. I can utter words that say I understand and that
maybe I've been in similar shoes. My words may offer you encouragement and hope based on
faith and God's promises that we will see our loved ones again. My words may give you the
courage to continue and maybe they can be that small drink of water you need to get a full
night's sleep for a change. But that's all my words can do. They cannot heal. They can only

But words ARE what is needed to start the healing process, and the RIGHT words CAN heal
your heart from the inside out, which is the only healing that will help get you through the grief.
The words you need, however, are not mine. They are the words in your very own mouth.

If you want true healing to begin, so the ache will become tolerable and the grief bearable, so
you will truly begin to feel as if life does go on and you can truly get through this, and for the
strength to move on with your life, YOU need to utter the only words than can heal: Help me.

Those two words, to the right ears, are all you need to start the healing process. The right ears
belong to Jesus.

I know this is true because I have been there. Friends could encourage me, comfort me, and be
a shoulder to lean on. But they couldn't heal my heart from the depths of grief and despair. Until
I looked up and began to reach out to the only one who can heal from the inside out, I wallowed
in my pain and grief. My prayer to him (my words) was something similar to this:

Lord, Lord, hear my prayers. Be with me and hold me gently in my grief. Give me the strength
to withstand this pain. Comfort me in my sorrow and grant me your Peace that surpasses all
human understanding. Lift me up and walk with me every step I take, leading and guiding me
in this new life without my loved one. I need you Lord, and put my trust and faith in you. I
cannot bear this alone and I know you are with me, as you promised never to leave me. I
stand on your promises, Lord. Help me. I cannot do this on my own.

Yes, I can encourage you, but I cannot heal your heart. I encourage you to pray. Use your
words to the One who CAN bear your pain and heal your heart. Allow Him to start the healing
process within you. Allow Him to help you get through the difficult days ahead. Grief is the
hardest thing you will ever encounter in this life, but you don't have to go through it alone. I
know. I couldn't have done it without Him.

Allow the words at Rainbow Faith to encourage you and visit back often as we do update our
site regularly. Read many of the encouraging poems and stories that some of our other readers
have submitted, for they have walked in similar shoes as yours as well. But for true healing,
spend some quiet time alone with our Lord God. Let Him know your innermost thoughts. Let
Him help you to heal and find that Peace in your life.

He will heal your heart in ways that only He can, from the inside out. All you have to do is seek
Him and ask. Joy will come again to you. He promises.


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