When a death occurs in our family, we each have our own reaction to it ~ to the finality of it.
Every individual who experiences a loss through death finds their own way to cope with it and
move on ~ or not. Some people turn inward and close out the world and any help that might
be offered to them. Others turn to acting out doing things so out of character for them that
their friends and family are left scratching their heads trying to find a way to understand what
is going through the mind of their grieving friend or family member.
And then, there are those who turn to God for comfort and solace crying out to Jesus to hear
their brokenhearted cries of anguish.
No matter how slowly or quickly the death of a loved one occurs, or whether it was brought
about by illness, accident, or even self-inflicted, the finality of it is always a shock to those left
grieving. My young daughter's death was quick, unexpected, and very final. She died
instantly. It was unimaginable! She went to play with a school mate and best friend, and she
never came home again! My son's death was two years, eight months coming. Even though I
knew from the start of his illness that he would die of it, his death was still a great shock to my
system and so - awfully - final! Most recently, my younger brother left on a trip to visit my
older sister in a nursing home. Due to a massive heart attack, he just never came home.
Again, the shock was tremendous and even though we all knew his health was not good,
none of us knew he was troubled with coronary problems, not even his daughters.
Given that these three deaths represent a gamut of death's finality, I have learned that the
first place I go for comfort is to my knees calling out to God to heal my broken heart and grant
me peace with the leaving of my loved one. He promised that He would be with us whenever
we called out no matter where we are. There is no set place where we must go before we can
speak with Him. There is no set time of day or night when He is easier to reach than any
other. He is always "on call" and will always answer when summoned by a grieving child of
Comfort was a long time coming when I lost my young daughter. It did not come until I
acknowledged that God was my Strength and Comforter and turned all my grief over to Him to
bear for me. He did!
In the long anticipation and dread in my son's death, I prayed constantly for intercession, for
protection from pain for him, and at the end, release from life, for his freedom to go meet The
Master face to face. At the sudden death of my brother, I was shocked with disbelief at first as
we all thought my older sister would be the next to go home to be with the Lord. Immediately,
I thanked God for taking him quickly and not prolonging his suffering; I realized that the end of
his visitation journey was never meant to bring him back to be with his family here on earth,
but rather to take him to be at home with his heavenly family with God.
Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the light, and whoever comes to Me, I will be with
them." He never lies! His word is one that you can take to the bank. Your days may be
endless with the longing to see your loved one in their usual place in your world, but God had
other plans for their life.
He gave them life when they were born with a complete schedule for how long they would be
on this earthly plain. He knows even how many hairs were on their head, and even knows
when each tiny sparrow falls. If God counted even those seemingly mundane things and took
great note of them, isn't it comforting that He would know when He would call us home to be
with Him in Paradise? These truths are recounted all through the Bible in His recorded
teachings and we should not doubt that they ARE truths.
We should lean on Him in times of grief and sadness at losing one we loved from our earthly
families. He promised He would be with us, lead us through trouble and give us unlimited
comfort in these times. He even sent His son, Jesus Christ into our world in human form to
demonstrate His purpose for us. Jesus suffered more than we can ever imagine for our
salvation, to pave the way to meet His Father, God in heaven.
No one can take away the sense of profound loss in the death of our loved one, but God's
comforting words of assurance can help us to trust in Him to take away our pain and longing. I
urge you to go to Him for the comfort you seek and the promise that you will see your loved
one again in heaven. As with all of His promises, God never breaks one and is always, even
to eternity, true to His words.
May God bless you and be with you in your loss and bring you His glorious peace that
passes all human understanding.
|God is Always There ... Whatever!
© Betty Sue Eaton
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Life After Loss